


April Fools'

by fearlessinspace



Series: Holiday Oneshots [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: April Fools' Day, Gen, Holidays, Marvel Universe, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 02:14:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6885121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fearlessinspace/pseuds/fearlessinspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just another April Fools' day with the agents of a super secret organization.</p>
            </blockquote>





	April Fools'

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first (published) fanfiction so be gentle xd  
> I do not own any of the character etc etc

"Be honest with me May, on a scale of 1-10, how chaotic is today going to be?"  
"Probably 13."  
The director and his right hand (and simultaneously best friend) were casually sipping on their morning coffee and discussing all the possible tricks and pranks that the teammates were ready to pull on each other. It was still early as the sun hadn't even come up yet, but both knew colossal chaos was nearing. And they we're ready to be a part of it.  
"Shall we start?"  
"We shall, Director."

* * *

"Jemma. Jemma. Jemma."  
_sigh_  
"Simmons."  
_groan_  
_"JEMMA SIMMONS."_  
_shriek_  
"Fitz! You startled me!"  
"I startled _you_!? Goddamit Jemma, it took me 15 bloody minutes to get you to wake up."  
"Why did you wake me up in the first place Fitz? _Oh. My. Gosh._ Don't tell me the you're finally enthusiastic about finishing the project? Ah! So exciting!"  
"No, Jemma, no, not the bloody experiment! It's the first of April, it's _much_ more important."  
_another groan_  
"Oh, Fitz. You know I don't like all the pranks. It's just so childish and frightening."  
"We're not pranking you this time, unfortunately. Lincoln and I've got it all planned out and Daisy's the target. Mack also might join."  
_eyebrow raise_  
"Aren't your pranks a tad bit...dangerous?"  
_insulted expression_  
"Jemma, we've been over this a thousand bloody times - it is _not_ me that filled the damn icers!"  
"Than who was it, Fitz? Only you and I can refill them! And it wasn't me-"  
"Okay, we don't have time for this! Let's go, Lincoln is probably waiting and we need to get prepared."

* * *

He did't want to leave this bed. He didn't want to leave the white sheets. He didn't want to move at all. It was warm, fuzzy, comfortable, a stress-free zone. And he was next to _her_. His arms around her slim waist, the tips of his fingers caressing her heavenly soft skin. Her tiny frame close to his own, a large one at that. He could feel the faint smell of vanilla that was always there. A few rays of sunshine peeking through the blinds. He was at peace.  
Or at least he _had been_  until he heard a strong knock on the door and two familiar voices on the other side.  
He pulled the covers a bit higher so any awkward situations were to be avoided and whispered a weak 'come in'.  
The door opened enough for the scientists' heads to peek inside.  
"Oh, dear! Lincoln, we're sorry, we didn't mean to interrupt, we just-"  
"Relax Jemma, you're not interrupting, she's sleeping."  
The scientist sighed in relief.  
"Good, now, we need to start preparing before she wakes up so, you-..could you...you know..?"  
Lincoln smiled to himself, amused by the scientist's awkwardness.  
"Sure, just give me a minute."  
"Oh, okay."  
The scientists replied and, to Lincoln's confusion, remained at the door, not aware that he gave them a somewhat discreet sign to leave.  
"Um...guys? Could you, please..?"  
He pointed at the door and earned _'ooooh'_ s from the scientists as they left the room and closed the door behind them.  
Lincoln smiled again and turned to his loved one, planted a light kiss on her neck and whispered a _'love you'_ before leaving the bed and leaving her smiling to herself as the plan was working just perfectly.

* * *

"So, remember what to do: Lincoln - play dead but first go check if Tremors is near, Simmons - when Sparky here coughs up 'blood' run in with the med kit, Turbo - panic, but not too much. We need to make this believable."  
"Oh, Mack, we're so lucky to have you  here and help before you leave." Simmons said as she took in deep breaths.  
The air was so filled with tension it could easily be cut with a knife.  
Lincoln ran back in, rushing everybody to brace themselves.  
"She's coming! Okay people, let's do this."

* * *

"Hey Mack, have you seen- Oh my god _LINCOLN_."  
Daisy screamed loud enough for the whole base to hear and ran to Lincoln's side, face full of tears.  
"Fitz. M-Mack. Oh my god. What-what the _hell_ happened in here?"  
She was hyperventilating as she examined the major cut on his neck and arm, staining her hands with blood.  
"We don't- we don't know, we just-"  
"Found him here. Like this. Jemma! Fitz, calm down. Jemma, come here!"  
Lincoln started coughing up blood, adding more to the puddle under him. Jemma noticed the clue and started running frantically towards the bunch.  
"I've got the kit! Move, I need to-"  
At that exact moment, Daisy went pale and fell to the floor right next to Lincoln, completely out of breath. Everybody ran to her and Mack checked the pulse with a horrified look on his face.  
"No pulse."  
This time, it was Jemma's turn to hyperventilate. She breathed in and out frantically as tears rolled down her cheeks. She knew that Lincoln's wounds were fake, but Daisy? It was so real to her. Her sight became wobbly from the tears and she could not notice what was actually going on. She didn't know that she could lose her cool so easily. This is not what they taught her at the S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy. She was dissapointed in herself and couldn't move...  
Not until she noticed that everybody else stopped freaking and started chuckling and laughing.  
"APRIL FOOLS'!"  
They all yelled in unison and broke into laughter at poor Jemma's confused expression.  
It was all a joke.  
Again.  
She was done.  
She was so _fucking done_.  
Everybody went mute as Jemma was choking with laughter, tears in her eyes and her face red as an apple.  
"Jemma, is everything okay? You look like you're bloody insane."  
"Ah, Fitz. Everything is just fine."

* * *

They sat peacefully in his office, a cup of tea each, smiling lightly at the view in front of them. On the large screen was the live footage of the group's prank: panicked Fitz, calm,cool and collected Mack, horrified Daisy, half-dead Lincoln and terrified Jemma.  
Coulson had that genuine smile of his plastered on his face as he turned to face May.  
"There're all probably gonna get heart attacks I'm guessing."  
May just smirked and drank from her steamy cup.

* * *

As all of them were partially covered in blood, they figured it was best to go to the bathrooms and lockers to wash up and change.  
"The fake blood was so real! I was so scared I messed up!" Jemma laughed as she was washing off the remains of the fake blood on her hands.  
"I actually thought you were going to get a heart attack." Daisy added.  
"Damn Lincoln, if I were you I'd die from laughter. How the hell did you keep so still?"  
"Mack's right. You're not exactly famous for keeping you cool..."  
Usually, when his temper was mentioned, Lincoln would feel quite awkward, perhaps even pissed. But these people - they are his family now. There's no reason for him to stick to his messed up past. His void is no longer an actual void. It is filled with love, responsibility and trust. All the tension that used to be there is now gone.  
Though not for long.  
Suddenly, the red alarm went off and the agents were surrounded with about 20 soldiers in suits with Hydra pins, 4 guns on each head, ready to shoot. They were specifically wearing special rubber-ish suits, as if they knew who they were dealing with. As they had no choice but to surrender, the agents raised their hands and the world went dark as their heads were covered with bags.

* * *

After some time, the captives' visions returned at the bags were removed, but after they saw what's in front of them, they'd rather have the bags put back over their heads.  
They were tied to metal columns in some kind of cellar that had a mold smell to it. They were still surrounded by the guards, but, on the floor, across from them, they could see May with knives in her back and Coulson tied up to another column with small wounds on his temple and lips.  
Everybody was silent.  
Nobody even dared to move a finger, when suddenly one of the gards left his spot and came to Coulson, muttering appologies and using the word _'sir'_. He removed the chains from Coulson and helped him up.  
The entire team was shaken and could not believe what they saw with their own eyes. Was this the second fall of S.H.I.E.L.D.? Was it all over?  
It all became clear to them when Coulson approached them and began saying very familiar words.  
"Compliance will be rewarded."  
"Discovery requires experimentation."  
"Cut of one head, two more shall take it's place."  
And that's when all the guards and Coulson in unison screamed  
"HAIL HYDRA."  
Jemma was hyperventilating silently. Fitz was leaning on Jemma, desperately trying not to believe his eyes. Mack's mouth went agape as he stared at Coulson with disbelief. Lincoln's eyes were turning blue as rage and electricity was piling up. Daisy just sat there and wondered _'Is this really how it's gonna end?'_  
After a few moments of silence, Coulson moved and with a simple hand gesture ordered the guards to stand in front of the team, one for each of the captives, and they all simultaneously raised their guns, aiming straight for the heads.  
That's when Daisy felt she was supposed to speak up.  
"Really, Coulson? After everything we've been through?"  
Her eyes began filling with tears as her voice went hoarse from dryness.  
"You're just going to _comply_? Just like that? Where's the shield? Where's the oath? To serve when everything else fails? To be humanity's last line of defense? To be the shield? And Captain America, Agents Carter? What about them? This is _not_ the Coulson I know."  
Coulson simply stared at her coldly, zero emotions on display.  
"True. This isn't the Coulson you know. This is me. I've just been hiding. Ward was bad at it, though. Took me a long time to get to this point. There's no shield. Only Hydra. And experimentation and success. Shoot them."  
At the final words, the entire team froze.  
All the guards pulled their triggers and BANG  
Instead of a bullet came out a prank flag with the words  
'April fools''  
May slowly got up. Coulson pulled out a hanky with an embedded S.H.I.E.L.D. logo from his pocket and started cleaning the blood of his face. The team just sat there and stared.  
April _fucking_ fools'.  
"Seriously guys? Hail Hydra? I thought you knew me better than that. It's okay guys, clear up!"  
All the guards just dropped the toy guns (that looked surprisingly real), removed their helmets (they were all S.H.I.E.L.D. agents for god's sake) and left the room.  
Suddenly, the cellar walls and floors were gone.  
It was the interrogation room.  
It was a _damn projection_.  
"At least remove the bracelets, Coulson, maybe then they'll come back faster." May sighed as she also left the room.  
"Oh, yes. Disengage bracelet."  
And that's when Daisy finally snapped.  
"Again? _Seriously?_ "  
Coulson just smiled at her, knowing that the wave of reactions will come his way in a few hours, _after_ everything sinks in.

* * *

"YOU ARE INSANE, COULSON."  
That's how Daisy finished her 25-minute-long speech on how she felt about the prank that him and May pulled on everybody.  
"I know that I'm supposed to follow orders, sir, but I have to agree with Daisy."  
Lincoln agreed, somehow sounding quite calm, unlike his usual self.  
Mack was silent, circling the room like an animal trapped in a cage.  
FitzSimmons were peacefully standing there, leaning on the wall, also speechless.  
Meanwhile, May was sipping yet another cup of tea and had that amused smirk on her face.  
If was silent.  
Until.  
"Hey, how about Pictionary?" Coulson asked.  
Everybody nodded, a few _'_ _sure'_ s and ' _yeah'_ s could be heard here and there. In a matter of seconds, the Director's office was emptied as they all continued with their lives as if nothing happened.


End file.
